by Alison Martin
When a beloved pet dies, you may feel as if your world has turned upside down and in a way, it has. The bond we have with our pets is unlike any other. Our pets depend on us for their well-being and we give of our hearts and time to ensure they are living a healthy and happy life. When that familiar routine of loving care is gone, we are left with a void in our heart.
Not only do we miss their physical presence but we miss their pure love. What can we do to help our hurting hearts find peace? Taking the time to recognize and be with your grief, rather than running from it, can be a good first step. Know that the emotions you feel are completely normal and will ebb and flow, much like waves in the ocean.
Grief isn’t linear. There is no timeline, and your experience of grief is as individual as you are. You and your pet had a completely unique relationship and you can continue to honor that bond by telling their story. By writing what is in our head and heart, we can begin to lessen the burden of grief.
Here are a few writing prompts to get you started:
How we first met.
These are 3 of my favorite things about you.
This is a special memory I have of us.
What I miss the most.
How my life changed because of you.
Another exercise to examine your grief is a simple drawing about how your heart is experiencing this loss. Sometimes it’s easier to draw how we feel rather than verbalize it. Drawing can help us ‘see’ our feelings in perhaps a new way.
Begin with an 8 ½ x 11” piece of paper.
Fold it into four sections.
In the Upper Left section, draw how your heart felt when your beloved pet was alive.
In the Lower Left section, draw how your heart felt at the worst time of your grief
In the Lower Right section, draw how your heart feels now about your loss
In the Upper Right section, draw how you would love your heart to feel in the future
Be gentle with yourself during this exercise. There is no right or wrong way to examine your heart.
Here is an example from my experience with the loss of my dear animal companion, Andy.
Beloved Andy, now in Spirit
Even if you have never experienced any form of quieting your mind, I encourage you to give this simple exercise a try. You may be pleasantly surprised at how easy it can be when you’re supported by your pet.
Pond Meditation with Your Pet
Close your eyes and relax with your palms facing upward. Take a deep breath, all the way into your belly, inhaling peace and exhaling stress. Take several deep breaths until you are relaxed.
Picture yourself in the middle of a forest at the edge of a still pond. Notice all of the trees and their many shades of greens and brown bark. Hear the birds singing and feel the gentle breeze on your skin. Be aware of the shades of blue in the water.
Breathe in the Earth energy through your feet into your heart, feeling strong and grounded. Notice your heart getting brighter and brighter as you feel the peace and harmony coming from Earth.
Inside your brightening heart, sense all of the love, peace and harmony from your entire life with your pet as your heart expands with love. Take your loving energy and pour it into the pond, filling the pond with love and compassion.
Invite your beloved pet to come and drink from the pond. Relax and feel this gentle connection with your pet. Feel how light and expanded your heart is. Feel how that essence is healing you too.
Thank your pet for coming to be with you . Take a few deep breaths as you feel yourself coming back into Earth’s energy, feeling stable and grounded, peaceful and relaxed, and keeping that connection with your pet alive in your heart.